The Secret Reasons Women Feel the Need to Fake Orgasms

We've all spoken or heard about faking the big O, but what’s really behind it? From the outside, it might seem like a simple way to save face, avoid something awkward, or wrap things up. But let’s be real here—it’s actually a complex dance of pressures, expectations, and social scripts. And ladies, you deserve way better.

Why women fake it?

Research shows that around 50% yes thats half of women have faked the big moment that should be so euphoric at least once, if not regularly! But why?

Looking Like a “Good Sexual Partner”

Apparently looking or sounding as if were pleased even when not fully there is what it takes.We’re led to believe that keeping up appearances—acting like the blissed-out partner—will make us seem more “satisfying.”

1. Wanting the Show to End
   Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s just easier to call it a night. After all, a quick, convincing performance can speed things up if you’re not really in the mood to keep going.
2. Protecting a Partner’s Feelings
   Many women fake it to avoid bruising their partner’s ego. We might worry that admitting we didn’t reach climax could hurt them, making them feel like they’ve fallen short or “failed.” Rather then openly communicate how and why works best for us 
3. Enhancing the Experience (Or So We Think)
   Some fake an orgasm to spice things up. By pretending to climax, they may feel they’re adding excitement, come on this is like being cat fished on a lousy dating app. This strategy often backfires, reinforcing sexual habits that don’t always bring genuine satisfaction. This can also lead our sub-conscience into believing this is peak pleasure and sets you up for bad sex in the future
4. Avoiding Conflict
   Relationships can come with enough conflicts. Rather than dig into a potentially sensitive or awkward conversation about what they like or don’t, many women find it easier to avoid explaining altogether. 
5. Fear of Being Judged
   Let’s face it—there’s still societal shame around women’s pleasure. Women might fake it to avoid feeling like they’re “difficult” or “not normal.” But let’s be clear: the desire for fulfilling sex isn’t complicated; it’s a basic right. Every body is different and works differently, you are not broken and are perfectly normal

Faking it, unfortunately, can keep us locked in outdated “sexual scripts.” These scripts—the unspoken rules and roles we play in the bedroom—have been around forever. By faking it, we’re reinforcing these limiting ideas, implying that we’re all set, just as pleased as men are, with the way sex currently goes down. We’re creating a false standard, one that doesn’t align with real needs and desires.

How to Prioritise Your Own Pleasure

Here are a few tips to stay true to who you are and own your pleasure again, without the pressure to fake it 

1. Communicate (Yes, Really!)
   Okay it can sound daunting, open communication is key. Let your partner know what you like, and don’t be afraid to guide them (most men are physical beings and love hands on learning). It might feel vulnerable at first, but the result is often an intimacy that goes beyond any “perfect performance.” 
2. Make Self-Exploration a Priority
   If you’re not sure what feels good for you, then start with self-pleasure. And that’s where a quality adult toy can work wonders. Take time to explore what feels good, and you’ll feel more empowered to share your preferences in the bedroom with your trusty vibrator. Enter Hunnybee’s Eleanor: not only does it bring you pleasure on your terms, but it helps you explore without the need to worry about anyone else’s expectations. It’s like giving yourself permission to focus on you.
3. Create New “Scripts”
   Say goodbye to the old “performer” script. Aim for authentic connections rather than ones filled with pretense. Real sex, after all, isn’t about “performing” but rather experiencing something genuine with your partner.
4. Acknowledge That Sex Is About You, Too
   Remember, sexual satisfaction is not just about the other person. Your pleasure matters, and your needs are just as important as your partner’s. Embracing this idea can help you feel more empowered to seek what you want.

Faking orgasms may be common, but it doesn’t have to be the norm. Let’s create a new script where authenticity and connection replace the old “performance” model.

Here are our favourite adult toys to get to know yourself better 

Rabbit vibrator 

Clit sucker 

Flexible vibrator 

Here are a couple of great couple sex toys to use on each other and take some pressure off the thought of the big O

Wand vibrator

Bullet vibrator 

Shop your favourite looking sex toy today to enhance your experience